I think im going to throw up on grandma
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
