I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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