Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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