They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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