im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
