my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
where are my eyebrows?
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