This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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