Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize