i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's shark week go big or go home
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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