i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
