my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
