I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she told me i tasted like america
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
