47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
