Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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