At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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