My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
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The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
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You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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