I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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