So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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