I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
