We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You ate ashes out of my bong
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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