I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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