you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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