I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
