When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
