I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
