Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i would punch a child for taco bell
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
