You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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