I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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