So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
