At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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