So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
