it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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