Where did you get a picture of my penis
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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