He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
