woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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