i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
