So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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