her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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