She's JV to your varsity
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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