i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
