i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
