let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
