If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
