Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
