We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
