it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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