Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
