I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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