there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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