dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
