Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize