So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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