Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
its liver damage thursday
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
