To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize