You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
