How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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