I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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