Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The power of my boobs compel you
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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