I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
