i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
