i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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