My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
