I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
