$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I skipped work to stalk him.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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