i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
