what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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