He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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